First. Check out Jory Matthews’s latest post. Applaud that
ho guh! I love when Jori writes. If you know her mannerisms, ethics, likes, and speaking voice then you’d read anything she jots down with the vigor. I bet I’d read her grocery list as if she’s telling a nigga ‘bout his life. Why do I digress so?
Anyway tho (©katstacks incorporated) …I decided** to compile my own list of shit similar to hers. Hence, Jori is so influential.
5 Things I Did This Summer.
1. A nigga on the regular. I had a summer fling. Ass on demand. It was fun. He lowkey annoys me now. Not his fault though. I just hate people and when people do people things I hate them even more.
2. Had my first hangover. I said it once, I’ll say it again. IT WAS NOTHING LIKE THE MOVIE. No big adventure for me. I spent all day drinking water to replenish all the electrolytes I lost getting drunk and I spent all night face first in the commode. I look back and laugh on the time. Lulz. It made me appreciate Mauria, my very own Nurse Joy.
3. Went to a club for the first time. Not no hole in the wall neither. A CLUB. Like in the movies. I got hit on repeatedly and a seemingly-straight guy bought me two drinks. It was not a gay club.
4. I lost my teenage card. Ize 20 nah. *say it like Squeek from Color Purple*
(Thunderstorming outside like a sumbitch and it ain’t bullshitting so I think the power is slowly but surely finna go out)
5. I bought a fitted cap. This may seem minuscule but I was an avid “caps don’t look right on my Mike & Ike shaped head” activist. Bring up hats around me and a I’d rabble rouse. My “A” hat was an impulse buy. I plan on impulsively buying an NY or Cubs fitted soon.
4 Things I Learned and You Care About Because This Right Here Is My Blog
1. I’m not the only nigga in the world who still rocks with Pokemans and on command can name Pokemanic trivial items in a joking fashion.
2. Twitter ain’t my life! I can do other things besides tweet.
3. Clear urine is result of drinking plenty of fluids. It smells less pungent than “dark” or “yellow” urine.
4. I may, in fact, be trade. I cried a little in my heart after realizing.
3 Things I Should Do Less Of
1. Eat before going to buffets. Spend my dumb dollars on one plate of shrimp fried rice? WHAT THE FUCK IS MY PROBLEM!?
2. Text stalk people. Let them NOT reply, John. Gee willikers.
3. Pork binge. Every thing is better with bacon ‘cept blood pressure.
2 Things You Should Know
1. My Pokemans have gotten stronger since our last encounter. Care to duel?
2. I think I won’t date any black guys for a while. No racism. Been with an Italian/Latino hybrid and I wanna date around ethnic background wise. Trott the globe dateally for lack of better words. A white boy? A mulatto? A Greek? A mulatto greek who has all white friends? The possibilities. Possibilities everywhere. I shall return to blacks after I’ve had my fair share of non-negroids.
1 Thing I Want
To be a baller… shot caller…. 20 inche blades on the Imapla. A car. Maybe a Cavalier. I’d put sounds and 13s on it so I won’t have to fuck with Ray Ray* broke ass no more.
*Names have been changed to protect the discreet/DL.
**Think about it.