- A - Available: Bitch, I’m single. Make a nigga cancel that bitch like Nino.
- B - Best Friends: I got a bitch named Pam and her homegirl Thumbalina.
- C - Color of Your Room: I call this Gucci Mane’s room. Walls made of bricks. All white bricks.
- D - Dad’s Name: John Henry. Don’t forget the Henry. Please say the Henry. If you just say John then you’re addressing me not him.
- E - Easiest People To Talk To: My inner monologue.
- F - Favorite Food: Hot wings.
- G - Gummy Bears Or Worms: Make like a kappa and step, ho.
- H - Hometown: Unfindable on a map.
- I - Instrument: Is mayonnaise an instrument?
- J - Job: A book in Bible. I know how to pronounce. Don’t be tryna trick me.
- K - Kids: I’m not part of a family, if that’s what you’re asking.
- L - Longest Car Ride: You ever wake up halfway there and realize you wasn’t sleep long? Jesus’s Mammma Mia!
- M - Milk Flavor: Leche? Oh, I like chocolate leche.
- N - Number Of Siblings: 1
- O - One Wish: And boy I’ll tell you… Folks don’t know the half… I would give it all up… Just to take one ride with you.
- P - Phobias: Failure. (:hats off to Nancy)
- Q - Favorite Quote: ”You’re born alone. You die alone. Everything else you can fix with Photoshop.”
- S - Song You Last Heard: At Your Best You Are Love by Mr. Biggs and his brethren
- U - Unknown Fact About Me: I get bored and narrate all my actions in various stereotypical Asian accents.
- V - Vegetable: I ain’t with that taco taco shit.
- W - Worst Habits: I can’t take advice. Generosity. I don’t speak up at the best times.
- X - X-Rays You’ve Had: You ain’t got the time, ho!
- Y - Your Favorite Pastime: I like smushing the hot guys.
- Z - Zodiac Sign: Cancer! And my name is Larry.
My roommate irks me. I want this room to myself. I want him gone. He can drop out. He can get kicked out. He can invisible himself. As long as I have this room to myself. He and his friend are beefing forreal forreal. Understand… they are on the cusp of a fist fight. The friend stopped by to settle shit earlier, but low and behold, roomie wasn’t here. Much to my disdain. But he left the message to tell my roomie to come see him (he’s down the hall). I feel like relaying the message in the way I was TOLD to relay it would be messy on my part. I know I should just fucking ignore it and keep out of their drama, but. I. want. this. room. to. my. self. I’m debating whether or not to relay the message, so they can fight and I get my own room.
I’m still a good person, right?
I’m not a girl but you can suck my dick.
My dick is still dry, Radley. You suck at sucking therefore you fail.
The dorm to the right of mine houses a deaf guy with no roomie. Another deaf guy is really close with him. Last Friday, campus was a ghost town. They got it in. Loudly. Didn’t know deaf people could moan (ignorant but I thought deaf equaled mute). It was awkward on my side of the wall. Some days later, they were arguing. Loudly. Indistinctly, but loudly.
Today. The dorm above me. Whomever is in it, is. GETTING. IT. IN. The bed’s squeaking. Hard. Muffled moaning.
And I cry.
This post’s main purpose is a celebration of the first time where I didn’t fuck up a good thing (relationship-wise). But first, the backstory.
Me and this Al B Sure nigga with the hair all soft (not really wavy) are/were talking. So far, it hasn’t been good for the home team. On my side of the equation, I’ve been (in my opinion) compromising to the best of my abilities without simply simping. So far, so blah. All seems to be done in vain.
This particular guy just is so selfish. I’ve only known him for about a week and a half but I can just tell he only thinks of himself and what he wants. At first, I felt like he wasn’t into me but it’s a really toss-up. I’ve talked with quiet a few guys during a-many cuffing season and if the guy was into me, it wasn’t a secret on his end. These guys were attentive, affectionate, flirtatious, and open to fun. Mind you, all of this was regardless of first date or three months later. This new guy seemed very cautious at first glance. But now I realize he just doesn’t think of me (or any other person) before himself (eh… can ya blame him, though?) Perfect example, he came to my dorm while the roomie was out and didn’t want to sit anywhere near me.
Confusing as all fuck my life.
You have to like me to WANT TO see me enough to come to my dorm. You don’t want to be near me. If I walked by him, he’d LEAAAAAAAAAN away like he was dancing to Young Dro. He’d be at my bed and I’d sit on it and BOOM! He walks to the other side of the room. If he was baby, I’da shook him. I DON’T WANNA FUCK YOU! At least not right now. Stop acting like you don’t have the sense God gave a fork. I don’t know what to think of that. Was he cautious of anything happening and my roommate catching us? Is being that forward so soon not his style? Is he just not that into me? Hmmmmmm.
Answers: The door stays locked. The lock is INCREDIBLY hard to open. Both of our keys ALWAYS jam like black thug dick inside of Persian virgin pussy. If my roomie was coming in the room, we’d have ample time to stop kissing or whatever. I don’t mind taking it slow. That’s better in the long run. Is he not that into me. At this point, I don’t give the perimeter of the possibilty of giving a fuck.
When I flirt with him, he gets mad uncomfortable. THIS… RIGHT… HERE… SAYS ALOT! I mean, when females openly, obviously, take off their weaves because they hot for my nuts flirt with me, I get uncomfortable because I ain’t into them! So… what we have here is a failure to communicate. If you just not that into me, why don’t ya say so?
I’m very forward. With him, I’ve been biting my tongue about his attitude more than I can stand. His attitude is so shitty. SHITTY. SHITTY! There’s no analogy or example that can justify it. It just is. The way he talks, attitude. The way he morally thinks, attitude. The way he gives no fucks about the way people may feel because of his actions? ATTITUDE? I just can’t stand that from anybody. Don’t get me wrong. He doesn’t seem like a bad person. I just don’t feel like he cares to ever be a better person and nix the attitude.
This is where it gets sooooo fucking stupd, right? He shoots down every idea I have of what to do when we chill. “Let’s go to Zaxby’s!” I said. “I don’t know you like that. Fuck I look like?”
“Whoa whoa Holiday! Wait hold on! Hold on holiday!”
I don’t know what the fuck he think goes on at a Zaxby’s, but all a nigga wanted was some wings and things and conversation. I don’t know what the fuck I look like, but YOU look like the average jigaboo minded nigga with no fuckin’ couth, sense, or reputable redeeming qualities. A cute face is a dime a fuckin’ penny. FUCK A DOZEN. Everybody here has a cute face because I don’t see the ugly niggas. I see them not. They don’t exist to me. You and yours? Easily replaceable.
Last night, he asked me to walk to Sonic from campus with him. I did. It was horrible. I was so tired, Ms Rain and I STILL WENT! Why? Cause I like him and it wasn’t asking too much for someTHING I liked. (But you can’t eat with me at Zaxby’s? That’s neither this or that though.) He bitched the whole walk. He didn’t wanna walk and talk, or in other words, stroll in a romantic manner. Not holding hands or nothing. Just slow walking and talking. He was speed walking like he had shit to do. Complained that I didn’t keep up with him when he coulda just slowed his pace. Every time he stopped to let me catch up, he bitched and moaned.
Insert sigh here.
He just called because I voiced these complains via text and he wants to talk face to face. I feel like it’s not that serious. A week and a half isn’t too long a waste of my time to make me want to care enough to come talk to you. You’re easily attainable via the SMS function on my cellular device. Why so extra?
I’m going anyway. When I come back, I bet you I been done cancelled that bitch like Nino.
I feel stupid talking to anybody about my personal life.